The word contract likely invokes the thought of lawyers, employment, and potentially even the devil. Really a contract is just a document that “should” clearly outline expectations and ensure that everyone understands their role in a relationship. This can be a business relationship, magical partnership, or situation-based circumstances (such as home repairs).
When we turn 18 in the US we are legally able to enter into contracts with gyms, government agencies, and rental companies. It is something that we may even see earlier in life with teachers, coaches, and tutors who are trying to empower us to achieve our dreams, while still following the rules. You may even have become familiar with contracts in church or during after school programs (D.A.R.E had you sign a contract stating you would stay off drugs).
While reading about the Salem witch trials we learn that witches sign a contract with the devil. In those stories it is made clear that the devil expects certain actions from the witch. Often involving harassing teenagers. One can speak of contracting with a familiar or a guardian spirit. The entire point of a contract is to ensure each party holds up their end.
I think contracts are a wonderful thing when they are clear, simple, and ensure that the interests of both parties are met. It is a steadfast way to not only set, but also maintain, boundaries with yourself and loved ones. Often, we will write down expectations, chore charts, goals, etc. and not realize that by JUST putting it down on paper we are in fact drawing up a contract of sorts.
It is something you can refer to if you are unsure of the next steps. A document that ensures you don’t back track, waffle, or otherwise waiver on a boundary you set for your mental, emotional, or even physical health and safety. It is as much for you as it is for the other person signing. I talked about boundaries specifically in Boundaries - Get you some. In that post I explored the sizes of boundaries; large & small. Since, I have learned a few definitions for boundaries thanks to Faith G. Harper’s book “Unf*ck Your Boundaries” :
The Three Main Definitions of a Boundary
1. Rigid Boundaries
Here nothing gets through. No one gets to see the wizard, not no way, not no how. These boundaries can be necessary but can also have some consequences for us when we set them. For instance – If you set a rigid boundary that you will never see Uncle Meany again, you may have to skip a few family BBQ’s that Uncle Meany is invited to.
Make sure the price is something you are willing to pay when setting this type of boundary. It is also best to reserve these for safety and wellness reasons.
2. Permeable Boundaries
This is potentially dangerous territory. Often these are ones you set, others ignore, you let it go, and suddenly your name becomes doormat. That does not mean that every permeable boundary is bad for you – it just requires caution to make sure you don’t feel taken advantage of.
If the rule is that you don’t eat food on the couch – dinner table only – but you come home to the kids getting along and having a movie night with popcorn and candy, you let it go in the interest of the fact they are getting along.
3. Flexible Boundaries
This is the safe zone where most boundaries should fall. These are areas where you are willing to compromise and circumstances, people, and needs change. For example – if you set a boundary around the use of the family car with your teenagers that it is for school and work only, but a public library event comes up they want to engage in – you allow them to use the car for that.
Flexible boundaries can also show up on contracts in the form of “If/Then” statements.
"If the kids are getting along and being mindful, then I can allow them to eat popcorn on the couch this one time."
Witchy Contracts
While I personally have never spoken to the devil, nor have I ever had much interest in doing so, I think that contracts are imperative to witchcraft. Especially if you think of them as written boundaries one can refer to. I personally have asked my guides, deities, entities, energies etc. to NOT talk to me in the bathroom. For the love of the Gods let me shower and use the toilet in peace. I wrote this boundary down in my notebook and signed beneath it contract style to lock it in.
Thus, when my friends talk about having guided insights while brushing their teeth, and the FOMO sets in, I can remind myself that I asked to be left alone in the bathroom. If I want teeth brushing insights from my guides, I must brush my teeth in the kitchen. I set the boundary, I drew up the contract, that one's on me. I can always redraw the contract allowing insights during less vulnerable bathroom activities later.
I think having things written out and clear for everyone is also healthy. This is especially true when you have many people working towards the same end. Writing down the rules, expectations, boundaries, and consequences in a common place (or with everyone having a copy) removes the potential for confusion, being too soft, being too hard, and gaslighting. Unintentional gaslighting is a problem in my household. I’ll do it to myself because honestly? I don’t remember what I said on Wednesday, let alone last month. If we come to a declarative, I’m writing it down to keep myself honest and keep everything clear and all parties on the same page.
Final thoughts
If you are setting a boundary of any kind, or setting expectations of yourself, others, or a collective – write it down. Get everyone’s buy in (or ensure you can actually achieve that plan) and sign it with intention. Put your mark on the declaration you are putting into the universe and allow the energy built in the writing and setting process to bolster the efforts towards the end goal.
Example contracts:
Rules for borrowing the Family Car
Rigid Part Flexible Part
The car is ONLY for: School Job Interviews / Work Doctors Appointments | Exceptions can be made upon request at parents discretion.
Parents reserve the right to say “no” without providing a reason |
PERMISSION must be asked prior to each usage
| Prior permission is preferred (days in advance) but at the moment permission can also be granted verbally
- A WRITTEN confirmation will be provided |
No music / media usage in the car | Maps app for directions can be used via car speakers |
NO EATING IN THE CAR |
|
If you use the car you must put gas in it to keep it above ¼ tank |
I ____________________________ understand and agree to the terms of usage above.
Signature ___________________________________ Date ____________________
Witness Signature ___________________________________ Date ____________________
Witness Signature ___________________________________ Date ____________________
Working With Guided Insights
I your name humbly request that during the times/activities of:
1. (Showering, etc.)
2.
3.
4.
5.
That I do not receive downloads, insights, contact, or other information from my spirit team. Exceptions to this include:
1. (Brushing teeth)
2. (Emergencies)
3.
4.
This request is made on behalf of my comfort, mental health, and safety and can be modified at any time. I am grateful for my spirit teams involvement in my life and respect of my boundaries listed above.
Signature ___________________________________ Date ____________________
Setting Expectations
If the following actions occur:
(Job X gets done)
Then the result will be the below benefits
(Y Privilege)
Signature ___________________________________ Date ____________________
Signature ___________________________________ Date ____________________
Signature ___________________________________ Date ____________________
References
Harper, F. G. (2020). Unf*ck Your Boundaries. Portland: Microcosm Publishing.
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